I'm Gonna *insert noun* Your Ass

Even though today's discussion in Professor's Smith class was pretty interesting, I still had time to think about something rather pointless... is it right for someone to use a noun as the main verb in a sentence? Now you may be thinking, "but Vincent, I always use nouns as a verb." And I know this is true. I too enjoy using sentences such as "I'm about to karate your ass," but is it okay to say something along the lines of "I'm gonna holocaust your ass"? Is the plight of the Jewish people enough to stop me from saying something that does indeed sound wicked bad? Is it even okay to make light of any horrific event as long as I wasn't directly affected? And if you are okay with this, would you change your mind if I said "I'm about to 9/11 your ass"? The three people I asked today seem to think it's wrong. Me, I'm not too sure. Any thoughts?

The End Is The Beginning Is The End

So my first two days into the new semester have officially come to an end and I must say that my classes aren't looking too bad, unless you consider a lot of writing assignments assigned by pretty interesting teachers to be bad, then in that case my classes suck.

*This is where I would normally insert some witty, meaningful commentary on life that's supposed to make you stop and think but I'm lazy*

Oh yea, on the first day of school, I got stuck in an elevator. OH JOY!

They Look Like Cool Pimps

Famous words uttered by my younger brother, claiming this is what the cop that pulled them over muttered to his partner as a reason to let them go.

Speaking of verbal nonsense, when confronted by Dr. Harris (the Environmental Science professor at UST) about taking his course, the first thing that popped into my mind, and then shortly out of my mouth, was "I'm sorry, I decided to take the real science route." DAMN did that suck. And then, in a futile attempt to make things better (here's a hint... IT DIDN'T), I added "No offense." Andrea was right, I am an asshole... oh well, at least I'm a rockin' asshole.

Speaking of rockin' assholes, I'm goin to the Godsmack/Rob Zombie concert tomorrow... or is that tonight... eh, whatever. From what I hear, it's a badass concert, but can you expect any less? The answer is yes. Can someone tell me who's bright idea was it to add Shine Down to a bill that included Godsmack and Rob Zombie? I hope someone got fired over this...

Speaking of getting fired... well, no one got fired but I did stumble upon Regina Spektor, a pretty cool Indie songstress. Check out her stuff if you're looking for something different. She's definately got my seal of approval.

Smoking's for Losers... If You're a Bitch

I don't know how many of you out there have Boomerang (channel 343 on Time Warner Cable), but it's a channel that plays classic cartoons 24/7. Pretty cool stuff. I recently heard that media watchdogs have decided to edit classic episodes of Tom & Jerry, removing any depictions of either character smoking under the assumption that kids will see it and suddenly feel the need to smoke. Of all the things they could possibly edit, such as mallet attacks, dropping anvils, and the various guns and knives used throughout the show's history, they decide to edit smoking. That's the biggest load of BULLSHIT I've ever heard. They should just show 24 hours worth of black screen just incase some moron kid decides to shower with a dinosaur ala The Flinstones or mate with blue ala The Smurfs.

Lists... Everybody Loves Lists

So I'm gonna try and make this a weekly thing... basically a list (maybe top 5, or top 10, or top whatever the fuck I feel like) of whatever the fuck I feel like. So to start us off, in no particular order...

Names that would be cool for an imagenary friend:

• Gippo
• Bilbo Jingles
• Kilowog
• Jerry Sue
• Bob
• Kofi Annan
• Nine

That's is all.

Only Time Wil Tell

So I'm talking to my cousin and we come up with the most ingenious way to commit suicide... overdose on vitamins, namely Flinstones Chewable Tablets, or at the vey least some type of gummy bear. If you could pull this off, you'd probably be remembered for a long time, at least amongst your family, friends, and those people who enjoy the Darwin Awards. I think it would take a special type of person to pull this off... will I be that person? Only time will tell...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

I'm not exactly sure what the rest of the conversation was like, but last night my 13 year old cousin said, "You know what I want to know? How sex feels." Then he went on to specify, as if it wasn't funny enough, "With a girl." Isn't that the darnedest thing? I think Bill Cosby would be proud.

Krypto the Superdog

As predicted in a previous post, this week has been rather hum drum. I'm actually a little worried that both my meals today consisted of fried chicken (1st from Frenchy's, 2nd from KFC). I decided to try Frenchy's because they opened up a place a couple blocks from my house and I wanted to see if it compared to it's UH counterpart... after eating a couple pieces, my youngest (and most athletic brother) complained that his chest was hurting... so yea, I'd say the deliciousness can compare =)

Not too sure what I'm doing tomorrow but if everything works out as planned I might not even remember Sunday morning, so that would be pretty cool... except for the whole not remembering anything thing. That poses an excellent question... if you drink enough to not be able to remember what happened, was the drinking worth it? A noodle-scratcher, that's for sure.

On my weekly sojourn to my comic shop, I decided to buy a Kingdom Come Green Lantern collectible figure for no other reason than I felt like spending money. When I opened the package, I realized that what I thought was an elaborate paint job turned out to be a series of stickers. I know this is a 3 year old toy, but this still kinda sucks. I'd try to relate this to some other life experience, but I'm tired. Screw that fancy shit.

So to end this, Red Hot Chili Peppers rule, Robert Plant is the man, and Krypto the Superdog has no actual relevance to this post, I just couldn't think of a clever title.

Splat Splat You're Dead

Beat Dead Rising for the second time today... that game is freakin' badass. You can pull off some serious DBZ shit with the 'disembowelment' skill. And the 'flash kick' ala Street Fighter II pops their heads clean off. Fun fun stuff.

And yes, this is my second run through... for a game whose main draw is seeing how violently you can kill zombies, the story is actually pretty damn good. I'm still not sure how undead cattle would help quench America's comsumption of meat, but then again I'm not a rocket scientist (but I do play one on TV).

So I'm done playing for tonight, but tomorrow begins the delightful task of getting the 'zombie genocider' achievement... I never thought killing 50000+ zombies could be so fun!

Lonelyness and Cheeseburgers are a Dangerous Mix

"Once there was a robot named Todd." "Did he have a brother?" "Yes, he had a brother named Rod, who was two space years older than him." "I don't like this story!"

Rod and Todd have got to be the two most 'weinerest' kid that have ever weinered... hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me. First of all, they play board games without dice because "it's less fun that way." What kind of kids say crap like that? If my little brothers ever said something like that, I'd kick the crap outta them, then I'd tell them to cram it with walnuts, and possibly call them ugly. Second, they're scared of moths, and even worse, the dreaded lady bug. If my little brothers ever reacted like this, I'd kick the crap outta them, them I'd tell them to cram it with wal... well I guess you can see where this is going.

Long story short, weiner-kids suck, classics Simpsons rules, and pre-moistened towelettes confuse and terrify me.

....

I have absolutely nothing to say. Honestly, the best thing to happen to me so far this week is that I bought the 8th season of the Simpsons (which actually scares me because this is the beginning of the end of the show's quality). Granted it's only wednesday morning, but I don't see things moving up from here.

The main theme from RoboCop just came on my play list... what a fucking badass movie. It's got everything you could want - blood, excessive violence, drama, satire, and there's that boob they show at the beginning... sweet.

But to get back on topic, is it really that bad to say there is nothing of importance going on in one's life? I mean, while nothing good is happening, the very nature of the above statement also means that nothing bad is happening, and nothing can really be wrong with that... unless of course that's what you're looking for, then you're fucked. So yes, it's safe to say I consider myself fucked... and not in the good Las Vegas way.