Damn I'm Tired

I am feeling incredibly lazy today. I don't know what it is. I suppose it could be the lack of sleep, but can you really can getting six hours the night before a test a "lack of sleep"? I'm not sure and frankly, I don't care enough to figure it out.



I love the classics. That hilarious... and I didn't even have to do anything to it.

It's Raining Men!

This Week In Comics: Feb. 21, 2007

Amazing Spider-Man #538
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Artist: Ron Garney

"The War at Home" finally comes to an end, and it sure does end with a bang! Well, not really.

I wish I could honestly say that this issue was the perfect ending to this story arc, but frankly, it wasn't. While I understand that the events portrayed on the last page will greatly impact Peter's life, I feel that it could have been handled better. ASM #537 ended with a cliffhanger, which was fine for that issue. But to have another issue, the final issue of the arc, end in a cliffhanger just doesn't sit well with me.

With that out of the way, I can get to where JMS truly succeeds. This issue acts as a perfect companion piece to the ending of Civil War. In an excellent soliloquy, we get a chance to see how Peter feels about the recent events, and JMS doesn't disappoint. Now on the the art side of things, Garney is doing a sufficient job, but there is something about the art that I find distracting. I can't really but my finger on it, but this isn't going to stop me from continuing with this series, especially since "Back in Black" has officially kicked off.

Civil War #7
Writer: Mark Millar
Artist: Steve McNiven

Well, the end is finally here. After ten long months, the long awaited finale to Civil War has been shipped.

This issue might not be what a majority of fans are expecting. While there is fighting, and McNiven does make it look incredible, some may be disappointed in what may seem to be a tame ending. This is not a problem for me. After sticking with this series, I don't think Millar could have crafted a more suitable ending without compromising that the nature of the characters involved. This ending works because it's believable. Some may find the ending to be too sappy, but I think it's refreshing to see an optimistic future looming ahead.

As I said before, McNiven's art plays just as big a role as the characters in the story. Seeing characters like Spider-Man bouncing around and completely kicking ass in front of the beautiful backgrounds is a joy to behold.

I really enjoyed this series. While delays and over-hyping have plagued Civil War, this really is one of the best events I have ever read. Mark Millar and company really crafted a well written story that will have impact on future books in the Marvel Universe for years to come. But when all is said and done, the ball is in Marvel's court. They can either produce follow-up books that honor the ideals instilled by this series, or it can resort to a return to the status quo, cheapening the impact of these seven issues. Personally, I can't wait to see what Marvel has in store for us, because if it's anything like Civil War, it's going to be phenomenal.

Immortal Iron Fist #3
Writers: Ed Brubaker & Matt Fraction
Artist: David Aja

This series is amazing, especially considering that Iron Fist was practically a C-list character since he was created in the 70s. But Brubaker and Fraction have managed to turn Iron Fist into one of the most interesting characters in the Marvel Universe. This book isn't dealing with any world changing events, or grandiose plots, but that doesn't mean this isn't an excellent read.

There are essentially two major plots in this series: the legacy of the Iron Fist, and the story of Danny dealing with the future of his father's company, the threat of Hydra, and the man who trained his father. These two plots are slowly becoming intertwined, mixing in a very interesting way. While this book is in no way necessary to understand the future of the MU, add this one to your pull list, you won't be disappointed.

New Avengers Illuminati #2
Writers: Brian Michael Bendis & Brian Reed
Artist: Jim Cheung

Simply amazing. Instead of writing a book that focuses on the here and now, Bendis and Reed take the opportunity to tell the story of how six of the most important men in the Marvel Universe have impacted six events. With a focus on Mr. Fantastic, Iron Man, Professor X, Dr. Strange, the Sub-Mariner, and Black Bolt, you would think that these men could do no wrong, but they make mistakes, and more importantly, actually seem human.

The action is there, but the attitude of these men is what sells the story, along with the dialogue and witty banter. It's fun to see Namor, one of the biggest pricks in the MU, actually scared of the ramifications of having the Infinity Gems. We also see some great character moments, my favorite being the Thing and Torch's reactions to Reed's "zany" experiment.

Punisher War Journal #4
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Mike Deodato, Jr.

The Punisher is back in the Marvel Universe, and he has been missed.

After Stilt-Man was aced by the Punisher back in issue 1, his friends decide to gather in his honor, reminiscing about the "good ol' days," where good guys were good guys, bad guys were bad guys, and most importantly, it was all about "good, clean fun." We get to see a huge number of "classic" villains, trading war stories in honor of their fallen comrade.

I thought this book was absolutely hilarious. The laughs start early on and they don't let up until the explosive ending. Here we get to see the Punisher that we know and love in action and trust me, it's just as cold-blooded as you would expect. I was worried that this series would fail in the wake of Civil War, but it hasn't, and hopefully, Fraction keeps up the pace. Deodato serves as the artist for this issue, and it's different than Olivetti's regular artwork, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Silent War #2
Writer: David Hine
Artist: Frazier Irving

You'd think that this series would have come and gone by now, considering it deals with fallout from Son of M, which ended at least a year ago. But that doesn't make it any less impactful.

Now that the Inhumans have retaliated against the United States for their confiscation of the Terrigen Mists, it's clear that Black Bolt wasn't prepared for the ramifications. As a result we witness a chilling scene between Black Bolt and his brother Maximus, and we finally get to see the Sentry do something besides brood and look pretty. We are also treated to a rather creepy ending featuring none other than resident jerkwad, Quicksilver. I can't wait for the next issue.

The writing is excellent, the art really stands out. Irving's dark and dreary artwork perfectly captures Black Bolt's emotions, which is essential because Bolt is a silent character. Great stuff.

United Nations FTW!

Not too long ago, the United Nations decided to change the world-wide symbol for "Hazard: Radiation.


I guess this might work for some people, but when I look at this sign, all I see is "In case of high winds, run, for death in eminent."

On Needlepoint, White Rapping, And, Oh Yea, Comics

Rob Liefeld, quite possibly one of the most despised men in comics, posted this video on YouTube a few days ago regarding the status of Onslaught Reborn #3. Can be I be the first to say who cares?



Hey Rob, maybe while you're working on your needlepoint and rapping skills, you can thrown in some video editing. Unless you were aiming to get a few laughs, cause seriously, I laughed so hard I almost cried.

It funny, no matter how "refined" his artwork has become...


I'll always remember Liefeld for this fantastic piece of work.

Wasted Days

I jut wasted two and a half hours of my life watching the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders on VH1. Turns out it was The Macarena. I'll just make things easier and shoot myself now, cause it surely can't get any better than this.

Be Careful About Those You Touch

With Valentine's Day falling in the middle of the week this year, I feel I should pass along this hilarious warning.

So watch what you do with your hands (or other extremities), it may have dire consequences.

This Week In Comics: Feb. 14, 2007

Astonishing X-Men #20
Writer: Joss Whedon
Artist: John Cassaday

Another solid issue, and this may be the books biggest flaw. While the story is extremely well-written, and has its share of great moments, it does nothing more than reinforce what we already know: something big is going to happen and Colossus is going to be at the center of it.

That aside, I love this book for the little moments. We actually see Colossus address the fact that even though he is at the center of this story, not too long ago he was back on earth, and dead. Colossus may find this odd, I just see it as proof that Whedon actually knows what he's doing and just isn't pulling stories out of his ass.

And finally, someone took the initiative to portray Wolverine as an actual character, rather than the uber-powerful, indestructible killing machine portrayed by other writers. His scenes with "Armor" are some of the best in this book.

As always, Cassaday's art was great. Don't be shy, pick this book up. You know you want to.

Batman #663
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: John Van Fleet

One of the best Joker stories ever written. And yes, I have read The Killing Joke.

What make this book work is that it isn't written in the traditional comic book format (text balloons, sequential art, etc.), but is written in prose format. By doing this, Morrison is able to delve deeper into Joker's psyche, allowing the reader to actually read what he is thinking, rather than merely extrapolating it through the art work. Yes, I know this takes away some of what makes comics great, but with a story this good, I'm willing to let that slide. While the story is great, Morrison does go overboard with his use of metaphors and similes, resulting in over dramatization. It drives the point home, but it could have been toned down a bit.

Now on to the art. I would have loved to see Andy Kubert tackle the artwork for this story, but DC decided to call in guest-artist John Van Fleet, whose 3D artwork is very hit or miss. For the most part, the backgrounds works, but when actual characters appear, things start to look too "plasticky." But this shouldn't stop you from reading this issue. I wouldn't be surprised to see this take the "Best Stand-alone Issue of the Year" award.

Justice Society of America #3
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Dale Eaglesham

After last issue's phenomenal ending, I was thinking it would be damned near impossible to follow it with something equally shocking. Sadly I was right, yet this book is still one of the best, if not the best, book on store shelves, serving as a testament to how great a writer Geoff Johns actually is.

The reason I love this book so much is that prior to this series, I hardly knew anything about these characters, other than the fact that they did indeed exist. But within the span of three issues, not only am I interested in what happens to them, I actually care about these characters. Although I'm not quite sure where this series is headed, or why the newly revealed bad guy is so much of a threat, I have faith that Johns won't lead me astray.

As for Eaglesham, absolutely phenomenal. He seems to be setting himself up to become one of the premier artists of the DC camp. And I can't go on with out mentioning Alex Ross' amazing work as the cover artist. If you don't think Cyclone looks beautiful, you're either blind or gay. Or a girl, I guess.

Thunderbolts #111
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Mike Deodato, Jr.

While I did enjoy first issue of this story arc, I wasn't completely sold on the idea. I debated with myself about getting this book and finally caved. Thankfully, I was not disappointed.

In a post-Superhuman Registration Act world, the government has (re)formed a team of super-villains, using them to bring in unregistered superhumans. After reading this, your first question may be "how can the the general public be fine with the government using these known criminals?" Answering this question is exactly where this book succeeds. Warren Ellis convincingly shows that when enough "spin" is applied, almost any situation, no matter how bad it looks, can be portrayed in a positive manner. Note that I said "almost." In what I see as a brilliant move, Ellis admits that there isn't enough spin in the world to make a villain as despicable as Bullseye likable. And when Bullseye finally makes his appearance, trust me, it's worth the wait. Justice like lightning indeed.

Deodato's artwork adds that extra layer of "oomph" to the book. His fight scenes are a pleasure to watch, adding just the right amounts of kinetic energy to the story.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but after reading this, I'm left with one question: Am I the only one that didn't know the Scarlet Spider was still active?

Happy Valentines Day!

Seriously Now

What?!? I guess Lois decided that the "Man of Steel" wasn't man enough for her.

The text in this panel is hilarious, but the it's the art that really sells it. Lets take a closer look.

Seriously, do I even want to know what happened last night?

It Begins

With Valentine's Day being around the corner, I thought a few love-themed posts would be appropriate.

I honestly don't know what I find funnier: Batman shamelessly expressing his desire for another woman when he has a girl named "Julie" back home, or Robin's expression. Just look at him. It's a mix between the pre-teen "girls are icky" stage and a homo erotic "I thought I was the only boy for Batman" look.

By golly was the Golden Age fucked up.

Awesomeness

I got the coolest thing in the mail this morning. A trial pair of Pampers. So I'm gonna try this baby out. See y'all in Orlando, I'll tell you how everything goes!

This Week In Comics: Feb. 7, 2007

Today I start what I hope becomes a tradition around this blog. Anyone who knows me can tell that I love comics books, so it's only fitting that I use this space to give my view on some of today's latest and greatest funny books. Hopefully this will become a regular addition to the blog. So without further ado, here we go.

Bullet Points #4
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Art: Tommy Lee Edwards

While I'm enjoying the story thus far, my biggest problem is that it's nothing more than a glorified "What if?". I was intrigued by the premise of this mini-series, but with Steve Rogers as Iron Man, Peter Parker as the Hulk, Reed Richards as the head of S.H.I.E.L.D., and so forth, there just isn't enough change for my taste. I do find it interesting that JMS has finally addressed something that was bothering me since the beginning. It turns out that the single bullet that changed the lives of the aforementioned didn't affect everyone in the Marvel Universe, and as the final page shows, my last statement doesn't only resonate throughout Earth. Based on this, I'll be waiting to see how this mini ends.

Detective Comics #828
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Don Kramer and Wayne Faucher
Cover: Simone Bianchi

I love what Paul Dini is doing with this series. It's as if he's channeling the best aspects of Batman: TAS, sticking to a "one story per issue" format that works because the stories remain fresh by introducing a new villain every issue. I'm also intrigued by the way Dini is portraying the Riddler. Since Infinite Crisis, the Riddler's become one of the most famous detectives in Gotham City, second only to Batman himself. I love that this new portrayal is proving to be a great foil to the mystique of the Dark Knight, showing that while Batman is still is a great detective, he isn't the only man for the job. The art in this book is serviceable, but nothing to write home to mom about. And, as always, Simone Bianchi does a tremendous job on the cover art.

Irredeemable Ant-Man
Writer: Robert Kirkman
Art: Phil Hester

The tag-line "The World's Most Unlikable Super-Hero" doesn't do the new Ant-Men justice; he quite honestly may be the world's most unlikable person. Seriously folks, this guy is a giant asshole. But you know what? I don't see myself not reading about him any time soon. While Kirkman is doing a phenomenal job at making me care about the new Ant-Man, he also has the ability to make even the mundane seem extra-ordinary. Throw in a twist that may make life difficult for our hero and great artwork (especially the shadowing), and you have a recipe for success.

New Avengers #27
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Leinil Francis Yu

After reading this issue, I've come to the realization that the Marvel Universe needs more team books. With the last five or so issues focusing more on individuals characters, it's really nice to see Bendis returning to the team aspect that we've come to love. While the story starts of with the "origin" of Ronin, it quickly jumps into an action-packed sequence showcasing all of the New New Avengers. I really do love this book. The artwork is great. And the dialogue is great, ezpecially the banter between Spider-Man, and well, everyone else. Pick this one up, you will not be disappointed.

Spider-Man: Reign #3
Writer: Kaare Andrews
Art: Kaare Andrews

After reading the first two issues, I was ready to write this one off as The Dark Knight Returns Lite. But after reading this issue, I'm starting to think that my original assumption was wrong. While the reintroduction of an old villain was obviously a shock, we're three issues into a four issue mini-series and we have yet to see how the happenings of the rest of the world are affecting Peter Parker (read: the title character). Obviously, Andrews has some sort of plan to end this series, I just hope he'll be able to pull it off without ruining a good thing.

Ultimate Spider-Man
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Mark Bagley

Now this is the way to end a story arc. Bendis managed to take one of the most hated storylines from the 90s (the dark ages) and actually made it very, very enjoyable. This is a phenomenal, emotionally-driven story that marks the end to one of the best arcs in USM history. Frankly, if this series ended with this issue, it would the end of an incredible run. My only concern is with the plot of the next arc. There is a possibility that Bendis won't be able to match this story, given that Spider-Man is at his best when Peter Parker is the front-runner.

Why Superman Why

While I know there isn't anything wrong with the cover for Action Comics #457, something about it called out to me.


So I took the liberty and put my own spin on it.


If this upsets anyone, don't blame me. Whoever originally drew that cover was just asking for something like this to happen.

Riddle Me This.

Riddle me that.
Who's afraid of the big black Bat?

I am. That's for damn sure.


You see that guy he just punched? There is no doubt about it. That fucker is dead. AND he's happy about it. You can't get any scarier than that.


Well, maybe you can.

What The Hell Were They Thinking?

bon·er (bō'nər) -
1) n. Informal A blunder or an error.
2) n. Vulgar Slang An erection of the penis.

Given that the Batman comics produced during the 1940s and 50s were written during a so-called "age of innocence," I still have to ask what the hell were the writers thinking. I must admit that I'm not up to date on all my 1950s slang, but I find it very hard to believe that the term "boner" wasn't used in the same context that it's used today.

Here are a few scans of "boner emphasis" taken from the pages of Batman and possibly Detective Comics. So take a look at them. They're in no particular order, and I'm not even sure that they're all from the same comic.

Also, I'm not even going to try to look at them in context. Enjoy!


First of all, who the hell emphasizes boners? And why the hell would that give Joker an idea for "a new adventure in crime"? Who talks like that anyway? Frankly I feel sorry for the citizens of Gotham, having to rue boners and all...


This just disturbs me. Now Joker's "boner crimes" are terrorizing the city. Even if I were to use the non-vulgar definition of the word, can someone please tell me what a blunder or an error crime is? And while it's nice to see that Gordon is worried about the boner Joker is readying for Batman, I'm a little worried as to why Batman's not concerned. Robin's taking the news like a champ too. Interesting...


He's trying to force you into a boner? You need to study the greatest boners of all time? Man, these guys couldn't be straight if a naked Catwoman was sitting on their face.


Rather than trying to make some joke about Joker pulling the boner of the year, I'm going to take the high road. What kind of sound effect is "WUXTRY!"? Is that the sound made when Joker pulls the boner of the year?

...

Wow, I couldn't even go one line with out going for the obvious. Oh well, on to the last picture.


I don't know what I find funnier, people laughing at Joker's boner, or people chortling at Joker's boner? Either way, I'm not even sure why Joker's pissed. Isn't he a clown? I thought any chortling was better than no chortling...

And there you have it. I think I'll take a shower now. I suddenly feel very, very dirty.

Only Slightly Disturbing

For Aunt May's sake, I hope that is web fluid... I don't think her poor heart could tak it being anything else.