Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Quick Message to the FOX Network



The Sarah Connor Chronicles freaking rocks. Please put it back at a decent time slot, cause Friday nights is the place network shows go to die. It happened to Firefly, it happened to countless other shows, and it'll happen again if people stop watching the show. I don't know about you, but even though I love Terminator, given the choice between watching TV or going out on a Friday night, I'm going out.

And that shit's for real.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday Night Drink Vol. 2


1 part Vodka
1 part Kahlua
1 part half & half
Splash of Coke

Combine and serve over ice. And remember, always enjoy responsibly!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

In honor of this, the most romantic of holiday's, the Black Widow shows us that even badass secret agents still put love before the job.








BOOSH!


Taken from Captain America Vol. 5 #46, by Brubaker and Epting.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Night Fights: St. Valentine's Day Massacre!

For my first foray into the fight scene, Hank Pym reminds us that while love conquers all, a firm backhand will certainly throw a monkey wrench into the mix.







From Avengers #213 by Jim Shooter and Bob Hall, reprinted in Secret Invasion: Requiem

This Week in the Funny Books: Feb. 11 2009

Another week, another batch of comics.



Overall, this was a pretty good week, but then again, any week that I can make to the shop and actually buy everything I want is a good week.

In celebration of Thor turning 600, here's some cute Thor goodness, courtesy of Chris Giarrusso.



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Amazing Spider-Man #586
Writer: Mark Guggenheim
Artist: Barry Kitson


This issue serves as yet another example of the inconsistent storytelling that has plagued Spider-Man for the past year.

Guggenheim's goal for this issue was to expand upon the genuinely shocking revelation that Lily Hollister is Menace, as well as tie up several loose-ends that have been dangling since Brand New Day kicked off. The problem is that he does so in a way that is more reminiscent of a college professor who reads directly from his notes: The information is necessary but the presentation fails to engage. It's a shame that The Brain Trust couldn't find a way to lend some excitement to these otherwise interesting developments.

As for the artwork, I love Barry Kitson, but he's no Romita Jr.


Captain Britain and MI13 #10
Writer: Paul Cornell
Artist: Leonard Kirk


This book starts with Dracula talking to Dr. Doom on the moon and ends with Dracula launching missiles made of Vampires at earth from the moon. This book is the fucking SHIT!






Batman #686
Writer: Neil Gaiman
Artist: Andy Kubert


Patterned after Alan Moore's "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?", Neil Gaiman takes an amalgamation of various Batmen and focuses on his possible adventures from the perspective of his closest allies and most dangerous foes, seemingly removing Bruce Wayne from the picture. He draws on all aspects of the Bat-Universe, going as far back as his earliest adventures with The Cat all the way to the inconspicuous appearance of Green Arrow from The Dark Knight Returns. So needless to say, this is surreal. Gaiman is in his element when he deals with the supernatural, so having Batman and someone who I can only guess is Death serve as the narrators certainly adds to the experience. While this doesn't hold the same weight as Moore's expertly crafted tale because this isn't really the end of an era, Gaiman answers the question of how would the general public view the death of one of their greatest heroes: with a variety of stories, none of which may be true, but all important in their own way.


Nightwing #153
Writer: Peter Tomasi
Artist: Don Kramer


I could go on about how this issue capitalizes on the family aspect of the Batman books, but I'm going to make this short and sweet. I love Nightwing and if he does become Batman after Battle for the Cowl is over, I'll be one cheesed-off Bat-fan.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Abraham Lincoln

Happy Birthday you Sexy Bastard!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

In Honor of the Changing Weather


HEY ROBIN!!!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON???


You see what I did there?

NICE


Taken from Detective Comics #660, by Chuck Dixon and Jim Balent

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Sunday Night Drink Vol. 1


1/3 Crown Royal
1/3 Coconut Rum
1/3 Peach Schnapps
1/2 Can Red Bull



Combine the three liquors in a shot glass and fill a highball glass with the Red Bull. Drop the shot glass into the Red Bull then slam it. It's the balls.

Friday, February 06, 2009

This Week in the Funny Books: Feb. 4 2009

Sorry kiddies, real life got in the way and I didn't have the time to read most of what I bought, much less review them. Regardless, here's the list of what I got.



Til next time!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Mike Deodato Jr. Proves


...that even homicidal maniacs
have an 'O' face.



Taken from Dark Avengers #1

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Joker










This Is Why He's Hot


Taken from Batman #496

Monday, February 02, 2009

Whom Can I Send?



You can send Batman and Robin!



SNAP!


Badly scanned from Batman: The Dailies: 1943-1946

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Prepare Phase One...



and get me Doctor Doom.

Friday, January 30, 2009

This Week In The Funny Books: Jan 28, 2009

Another week, another $40+ spent on comics. I obviously don't have time to review everything I buy by Friday, so I decided to cobble something together to show you exactly what I bought.



On to the reviews!
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Final Crisis #7
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Doug Mahnke


What the @#$% is going on in this comic? The only thing I got out of it is that Batman is still alive, in the past, and chilling in a cave that isn't the Batcave.

Sometime soon I'll re-read the entire series to see if I can make some sense of it. Needless to say, all the excitement that issue six built out was completely torn down by this issue.


Superman #684
Writer: James Robinson
Artist: Jesus Merino


Three-fourths of this comic focuses on the Parasite and his man-crush on Mon-El, which isn't as interesting as it sounds. What was interesting is the New Krypton military parade marshaled by General Zod.

Yea, that Zod. Better get to kneeling bitches.


New Avengers #49
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Billy Tan


In Dark Avengers #1, Bendis did a great job of quickly introducing the new line-up. Basically he got the boring stuff out the way so we could move on to the action. I just wasn't expecting it to happen in this book.

Picking up after Luke Cage made a deal with Osborn to find his daughter, we see Osborn using his power as Director of H.A.M.M.E.R. to viciously, yet entertainingly, extract info from Skrull POW's to learn the location of the Jarvis-Skrull. After he's found and the baby is peaceably turned over, a well-placed sniper's bullet shows us that Osborn's Avengers is a group you certainly don't want to piss off.

Add Luke monkey-whomping Bullseye and Venom with the Wrecker's crowbar and Ronin deciding he ain't gonna take not more guff, and you have yourself one entertaining comic.


Incredible Hercules #125
Writers: Greg Pak & Fred Van Lente
Artists: Salva Espin & Clayton Henry


In great Marvel fashion, this book asks a question that has plagued mankind for ages: "Would you have sex with a hot-ass Gorgon chick knowing that she would be forced to kill you after you shazamed?" Remember, you're friends with Hercules and Namora, who took down Atlas by super-punching him in the crotch.


Batman #685
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Dustin Nguyen


A rhinoceros literally uses Hush as a punching bag, Catwoman frees some adorable animals, and Nightwing and Robin sport Chinese coolie hats to help them both escape the jungles of Vietnam. Need I say more?

_______________________________________________________

And with that's I'm going to call it a night. Til next time!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This Rap is so Perfect...



It's Retarded.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stan Lee and Spider-Man...


kickin' it old school.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Iron Man Says


Damn.

It is cold outside.

Luke Skywalker


...is doing the best with
what he's got.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

This Week In The Funny Books: Jan. 21, 2009

Reviewing everything I buy in any given week probably isn't going to cut it since I barely have the time to read all fifteen issues, much less write about them, so I'm gonna try to focus on the handful of books that really jump out at me *cough* Dark Reign *cough*. Oh, and I think I'm going to buy a scanner, cause there is some goodness that needs to be seen.
_______________________________________________________



Dark Avengers #1
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato


Everything from the plot down to Deodato's stellar pencils makes this book feel like a spiritual successor to Warren Ellis' run on Thunderbolts, which is most excellent. The Avengers have always been popular in the Marvel U, and now that Osborn (Green Goblin and current savior of humanity) is publicly running the show instead of hiding in Thunderbolts Mountain, things are going to get really interesting.

Also, the team plays host to no less than four psychopaths, so it's gonna be awesome when the shit hits the fan. Oh man, I can't wait for that shit to hit the fan.


War Machine #2
Writer: Greg Pak
Artist: Leonardo Manco


Picture Commando, the badass 1985 opus about a one man war on South American bad people. Now replace Arnie with a man-tank and the South Americans with a bunch of guys that would make Blackwater look a Sunday-schoolers and you have the basic plot for this book. But don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing. If there's one book that deserves to have it's own heavy metal soundtrack, it's this one. I mean, this is a book where War Machine gets his legs blown off and and replaces them with a tank.

They see me rollin', they hatin'...


Thunderbolts #128
Writer: Andy Diggle
Artist: Robert de la Torre


Finally, Marvel's answer to The Suicide Squad.

Honestly, I haven't read everything Marvel has ever published, but a covert squad of badasses that's answers to Norman Osborn is news to me. Throw in the fact that their first mission is to attack Air Force One and kill the president means this book has "It's the SHIT!!!" written all over it.


Mighty Avengers #21
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Khoi Pham


I'm happy to see the real Hank Pym (the new Wasp) doing awesome science shit again. And I'm all for seeing more Hercules and Amadeus Cho. But seriously, what the hell is going on in this comic? While I'm ever-so-slighty intrigued by the Avengers tackling evil on a grand scale, it all happens with no explanation, and since the Scarlet Witch is involved and countless triple-A heroes ate it, I can almost see Slott's finger hovering over the reset button.

Speaking about the Scarlet Witch, where the fuck did she come from? After being gone for a couple years and supposedly not remembering that she was the Scarlet Witch, she just pops out of thin air and decides to go rallying Avengers cause "there comes a day when earth's mightiest must unite against some super-evil shit" or something like that. Anyway, the problem isn't the premise, it's how it's handled. This comic has a very silver-age feel to it, which doesn't seem to gel with the more reality-based modern era.

Also, I gotta give it up for Khoi Pham's artwork. Any artist that can draw a teenage girl that actually looks like a teenage girl is A-OK in my book.


The Amazing Spider-Man #584
Writer: Marc Guggenheim
Artist: John Romita Jr.


I can't be the only one who thinks that Romita Jr. was born to draw Spider-Man comics. The his artwork simply looks amazing (pun intended) and even though Spidey is doing Spidey-stuff for maybe three pages total, you can still see the kinetic energy that JRJR puts into the character.

Oh, you want to hear about the story? BIG disappointment after last week's issue.

It's not that that it's a bad story, it's just that this arc is supposed to answer all the questions we've amassed over the past year. Problem is, I don't care. The mystery of the Spider-Tracer killer isn't all that interesting, I'd actually be pissed if Menace turned out to be Harry Osborn (but who else is there?), and I really don't care who becomes the fictional mayor of fictional New York City. The only plot-thread that's vaguely interesting is Harry's proposal to Lily Hollister, who also happens to have a thing for Peter Parker.

All in all, I really shouldn't judge the arc based on teh first issue, but after waiting this long, I'd like to have some more plot development for my money.


Green Lantern #37
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Ivan Reis


I really don't know where to begin with this book. It's simply amazing. With Green Lantern, Johns continuously proves why he is one of the best writers in the industry and why he's pretty much the architect of the DC Universe. He's been building one upon the developments of the Sinestro Corps War for some time now and it just gets better and better with each issue.

This is the way a superhero comic should be, with excitement brimming at the turn of every page. And with so many new developments occurring on almost a monthly basis, it's almost mind-boggling that Johns has been able to make the introduction of these new ideas as seamless as possible. And as for the story, you know the writer is doing something right when he has you cheering for one of the most ruthless groups of villains in the universe. It's good to see that the year-plus lead up to Blackest Night is paying off in ways that I couldn't have dreamed, but then again, that's why I'm not writing this stuff.
_______________________________________________________

Alrighty, I think that'll be it for now. I still have a bunch of stuff to read, so check back, I might be updating sometime this weekend.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What Grinds My Gears, Vol. 1

Toy stores.

I'm sick of going out to buy toys, y'know cause I really need to spend my money on something, only for there to be a serious lack of anything I want.


But maybe it's not the toy stores I need to be bitching about. Maybe it's the stupid kids and their dumb-ass parents that need to be slapped upside the head. Someone's to blame when Walmart has a bigger WWE and Naruto selection than Marvel and DC. And don't get me started about the actual toys they do have on the shelves. I've been buying Mighty Muggs since May and haven't touched the Hulk, what makes anyone think that I would want to buy it now? I want my Hulk to look badass and imposing, not freaking retarded. And as you can see, I'm in serious need of new Muggs.



I could understand not being able to find what I'm looking for at Walmart or Target, but Toys R Us? That's a store that specializes in toys! That's like going to a liquor store and only being able to find McCormick's (which really isn't bad if you run it through a Brita filter 3 or 4 times). Seriously, they always have nothing at Toys R Us. Just look at all the awesome stuff I didn't buy at Toys R Us.



Thank God for comic book stores, otherwise I'd have so much more money in my bank account.